Lost a couple of women this week. I’ve lost at least 5 in the past few months. In fact I have a bad habit of losing women in the interaction phase. I’m writing this to get a beat on what lessons I should learn. I’m apparently a handsome man because I don’t seem to have much issue attracting them initially. In many cases I’m even getting second dates.
Here’s how I’m losing them. I’m failing shit tests. I’m losing my confident masculine frame.
Let’s chronicle the last 4 women I messed up with shall we?
Girl 1: Met her online. She was a talker and she loved texting and talking on the phone. She also loved sending pics. Now here’s the problem(test). When I wanted to see her and take her on dates she always had something else going on. Oh sure she continued texting and waning to talk to me. I tried to pull back and make myself distant. She pursued somewhat, but it was still the same BS. I finally did get a date with her, and she even showed up in a sexy dress with no panties. I saw her for a walk the following night, and she came at me with plenty of feminine sexual energy. When I went to hug and kiss her, she resisted and pulled back. She agreed to a date the following Friday, but flaked on me the night of. It ended sure, but bottom line I failed the shit tests.
I think the game with her was to be distant and withhold validation. I’ll start practicing that.
Girl 2: Online again. First date was simply Starbucks. She didn’t even want to give her name until the date itself – security concerns “You could’ve been a weirdo, creep…” In protecting herself she put forth her hardcore conservative side. So much so, I was starting to suspect she was a closet lesbian. I wasn’t particularly attracted to her at first, but she was showing a lot of interest so I was willing to go on a second date.
A few days after the first date, I suppose I played it well and didn’t over pursue, because her interest level remained pretty high. We had our first phone conversations. In the conversations we had a few hefty disagreements, but we still planned our second date. She agreed to it, but I still believe it was off the strength of the initial impression and good maneuvers I had made up to that point.
She shows up to the date. I can tell from her body language that her interest level in me is still pretty(perhaps very) high.
She was also comfortable with me now. At this point she presented her soft, feminine, sensuous, side. I went from suspecting she didn’t really like men to now being forced to see her as…A WOMAN!!!!
Needless to say it made me nervous. It took me out of my frame. I was definitely more attracted to her.
I was fidgety and would have emo moments when expressing certain views. Sure we disagreed on some things, but I’m certain that it was how I disagreed that was the issue. I know a little bit of the game. Often disagreements are a mere cover. When you’re attracted to a person like that, you don’t really notice disagreements – or at least they’re not enough to turn off attraction on a certain level.
She came into the date with a pretty high interest level, but by the end of the night I got the “we’re two different people…” line.
The lesson from what I could gather is to keep your frame. I’m not sure how to do that yet.
Girl 3: This was one of the cases of overplaying it. Again we connected via online dating. We started talking and she’s definitely talking back. Texting is cool. Phone convos are cool. She definitely wants to see this thing go somewhere. Thing is, I pulled some serious dick moves thinking I’m being Mr. Smooth Player Player. First, I told her I’d call, but didn’t. I texted her I believe the next day or so and I was apologetic, and promised to call her. I did. Things were going okay. We even planned to go on a date, but I basically disappeared on her for 2 days after planning it. I misread the signs. Instead of giving her what she was giving me, I did what I felt the rules of game dictated. I reached out to her after disappearing and she didn’t respond. Obviously she’s gone ghost and decided to hell with me. I overplayed it.
So I think the lesson is to give her what she gives you.
Girl 4: This was actually a girl I dated in HS and I happened to reconnect with her recently. I was working on play as a stage hand for some old church family friends. She was in the play as a singer. The first night, she told me to get in touch with her. We went out to a nearby pub. I got a serious kiss from her. She also told me she had a hotel room in the area. I didn’t attack the situation and take her up on her suggestion and close the deal. I let it slide and didn’t think much of it. Fast forward a few weeks or maybe a month after the play. The church family friends have a get together to celebrate the production. She was there and when I passed her I gave her a passionate sensuous hug with which she complied. I later sent her a basic “What’s up” text to see if there might’ve been anything still there. Apparently there was. She invited me to a play with her. I was even offering to pick her up as a kind gesture. She agreed to let me (Psst, if you pick her up, you can create a sexual opportunity… if you play it right).
The day of the date, I pulled a series of dick moves. First, I went running close to the time I was supposed to get ready to go and pick her up. Then, I started waffling about picking her up. With all my fuckery, she simply decided to cancel the date. Can’t blame her to be honest. I overplayed it again.
So let’s sum up the lessons. 1. Pay attention and know when and how to pull back. 2. Keep your frame. 3. At least give her what she gives you 4. Take the opportunities you’re given.
Here’s the biggest lesson of all. The game is not something you can learn by simply watching videos or reading books. You have to get out in the field and live it – Experience it. You have to tangibly practice it, and keep your eyes open and your mind open to potential lessons.
Shout out to Alpha Male Strategies for some of the underlying theories I’ve been working with.