**The grim reaper**
**The mode 4 misogynist**
**The guy who wants to see black women “choking in a pool of their own excrement”**
**The toxic Incel**
He’s developed quite an infamous name for himself. He and his echo box have irritated and brought mental and emotional discomfort to quite a few people. He’s not shy about admitting that one of his driving forces has been his history of scorn and rejection in dealing with women. His most (in)famous story is his “Prom Story” in which he was rejected by the women he wanted but subsequently presented with (force fed) a group of young women he referred to as the “four homely sisters” by ladies of his own family. He eventually made quite the scene and stopped talking to his mother and sisters for a prolonged period of time.
Obsidian captured me personally as a fan early on because he was always skillful in debunking common talking points by black women in the area of dating and relationships. He was good at deconstructing and punching holes in accepted narratives about black men and black relationships.
Here’s why I’ve stayed a part of his fanbase for the last 4-ish years:
1. As I mentioned, he’s skillful in counter arguing and debunking accepted narratives and talking points about black men and black relationships.
2. Well, this one(and the next one) gets into a bit of personal history for me. My upbringing and development was black middle class and largely matriarchal. My primary influences in life were women/girls/females. I was often a “fly on the wall” sitting and listening to female conversations. If allowed to talk uninterrupted long enough, women’s conversations will invariably shift in the direction of men/males…and it was rarely positive. It was always about how annoying, inadequate, or incompetent the men in their lives were. I have a bad habit I suppose of always paying attention to what’s being said and not enough to who’s saying it. I tend to miss perspective and context. As such, the message I walked away with was ultimately “(Black) Men suck.”
It didn’t stop there however. Continuing in my development, I’d often watch a bit of day time talk shows. Now allow me to be intellectually honest and point out that it wasn’t always a necessarily dedicated panel set up to bad mouth men – black men in particular. What it was however, was a women’s space. The atmosphere of it was pro woman often to the extent of being anti man. This was bigger than just Oprah. This was Donahue, Ricki Lake, Sally Jesse Rafael, Rolanda, Bertice Berry, and a list of various others. Male guests were typically booed on entry to the stage. A common show theme or topic was some variation of “Awesome, perfectly innocent woman who did everything right gets victimized and mistreated by some evil, sinister (usually black) man.” The audience was always on the woman’s side and empathetic to her…even when it was revealed that she was complicit in whatever may have transpired. Men were inherently guilty… even when their behavior might have been justified/justifiable.
Oh, there’s more. At night I’d turn on family sitcoms and it seemed like all the male characters were bumbling semi-retarded or semi-autistic morons, while all the female characters were smart and well put together.
Heck, I’d go to church every Sunday, and either the pastor or a deacon, or an elder, or some man would be certain to take a moment to “thank God for his wife, for without her he could barely tie his own shoes.”
So the ultimate messages embedded in my psyche were: Men bad, women good. Men stupid, Women smart… and…I had to be different. I had to be “nice” and caring, and compassionate, smart, and empathetic.
This is all very poor programming for a young man. Don’t let your sons grow with this type of messaging. It warps their world view.
Obsidian, the black manosphere, and the larger manosphere have been my counter balance. They’ve helped me to undo the programming of my upbringing. They’ve brought balance and allowed me to see men for what we are and what we do and women for what they are and what they do. We’re all people. We have our flaws and our advantages…our strengths and our weaknesses…our vices and our virtues.
3. So then we get to the point at which I start trying to date young women and get into relationships. I’m carrying around the mental and emotional conditioning of my upbringing. I often even felt guilty for wanting a woman I was actually attracted to. Certainly I should be a top pick. I’m smart/competent, relatively clean, caring and compassionate, I’m a Christian, and I’ll never beat on you or cheat on you. BUNK!!! The kind of man I was, ended up perpetually the “friend”, listening to her cry and moan about the guy she was actually attracted to. So yeah, I got that “nice guy resentment” real bad. Had I known then what I know now, I would’ve devoted more of my energy to myself and focused more in my formative years on sports and fitness, my looks, and game. I do it now, and slowly but increasingly I’m starting to reap the results. I just wish I had done so earlier. I’m not one to say women just don’t want a good man. That’s not the case. The message that gets missed is that women as an ideal want an attractive, masculine, charismatic good man. I missed that part before the word “good.” I was real salty when I got that red pill at first and the Obsidians of the world – along with the rest of the manosphere – provide spaces for guys like me to go and commiserate and air our grievances. It’s almost like daytime talk for men, lol.
So yeah, that’s why I support guys like Obsidian and his ilk.